I feel lonelier surrounded by everyone, than if I had just been by myself.
I was invited to a New years party, one I can't take part in because I had attended last year and i don't want to feel the same way this year. I always end up at the end of the long table, exiled, while everyone else chit chats away the night in a language I can't speak. no one ever really makes an effort to talk to me and when they do it just seems so forced on their behalf. I'd rather spare myself the heartache this year but it's too late, the tears just won't stop.
I mean like I do really want to go, and the person who invited me really wants me to go too, but I'm always left so lonely it hurts and I can't hold back my tears now.
I understand the feeling of being left out, so at parties I try to always talk to everyone and make sure no one feels that lonely feeling, because it's a time to have fun, not feel alone in a sea of strangers.
I hope this lonely feeling departs soon, it's no way to bring in the New Year.