Yup its been a while im still alive, sort of. well i feel more alive now. I have a few bits of journal peices in my ipad that i need to edit and upload for this journal log though.
but quick recap on life
still working got a new job then quit then got another job, working full time basically
still in college, suffering with poor grades but i cant quit my jobs right now, so i keep talking to my councilor who i need to transfer half my credits from a previous campus so that i can graduate hopefully in a year or two.
uhhh life sucks, witing a small book on my perspective on life (restore hope in humanity) i have two lessons thingys haha i need dat stuff proof read.
i an between homeless and a traveler at the moment. due to unfortunate situations that occured from letting a co worker sleep over to bake a cake for thier friends b-day. Which will cost me about a thousand dollars to fix (hence the cant quit and almost homeless position. (you do not even know i have like, about one third less belongings. all of my clothes can fit in three black garbage bags and my personal belongings maybe in one, i dont have a dresser or a bed and termites at through my favorite blanket.)
now good note
i am reconnecting with past friends and we go out every once in a while to all you can eat yakiniku places
im turning 21 in july im super stoked
i wanna throw a hotel party and go to dinner with my close friends and stay up late and laugh all night
good note i cleaned up my corner of the room i can sleep on an actual floor instead of a mess of books and papers with random crap inbetween
oh my gosh i have not drawin in like almost half a year i think since becoming a full time worker
i have so many oil paints i want to finish man its sad i wanna jump on that and do it
basically in all the time ive distanced myself from my friends i had spent it being only half myself. As much as friends anoy the shit out of you, the real ones will always be there on your worst day to make sure that you get through it until you see the sun on the other side. The ones that leave you miserable, never truly cared to see you happy, and those are the ones you would do much better without.
I was happy, but i knew i was missing out. I wasnt annoyed, but i was forgotten. You may want to be alone sometimes, but no one wants to be alone and forgotten. I felt empty, depressed, unmotivated and lost.
ofcourse dont dive off the deep end with yoiur friends and land yurself in a world of trouble, been there done that, i never want to be a dissapointment again, but from that i have learned, there are limits, know what your limit is.
until next time <3